Monday, November 10, 2008

Texts from a Fan

Texts from a Fan
[With replies to aid understanding]

19 July 16:02
I'm in work until 8 and I can't help smiling all the time thinking of all the stupid things you said. I hope you are fine and that you miss me loads.

[AG Replied: I don't recall saying anything stupid. Do you have the right number? I notice you have a French phone. I'd love to learn more about your country. And I wish I had some tomato soup right now. Is soup French or Dutch? I can never remember.]

19 July 21:34
I have the pleasure to tell you that your first wish has come true. Shame you are not here. I opened a great wine.

[AG: Are you the woman I met at the line dancing? How did you get this number?]

19 July 23:45
Will I see you again one day? Sometimes I'm afraid I doubt it... Please prove me wrong.

[AG: I saw a lovely rainbow today. It made me think of you. You were the blue bit.]

22 July 23:42
I'm sick of your bad temper and your attitude and your aggresivity. I don't deserve to be treated that way. It's not fair. This is too much.

22 July 23:51
How many times will I have to run after you like a dog - because you have abandoned me on purpose? Be careful of not crossing the line: my patience is limited.

[AG: Is this because England beat France in the rugby? I thought France played very well within their limitations.]

22 July 23:56
I see how you like to distress me and that makes me sad! What did I do to deserve that? I'm sorry but I don't understand what went wrong

[AG: This is the phone of the writer Andrew Girardin. Who are you trying to contact?]

23 July 12:00
I already gave my opinion on this question, now it's your choice. Do what you feel like doing!

[AG: If neither of us is married by the time I'm 40, let's do it. If I'm married, we do nothing. If you're married and I'm not, get a divorce.]

23 July 12:06
You know I appreciate you - despite everything. I'm very surprised and confused by this message though, given last night's chat

23 July 12:12
Why is your behaviour so much... illogical? I'm all lost when I try to understand what is going on with you

[AG: Hi, who's this? I dropped my phone in the toilet and lost all the contact details.]

23 July 13:47
So what are you to do? I think I have the right to know!